Let’s face it, being a parent is a tough job. It’s even tougher when you have a special needs child. There are so many emotions that go along with it that it can be very difficult to sort them out. You constantly ask yourself, am I doing the right thing? Would someone else be doing this better? Should I give in to his demands because I feel bad for him having this disability? Am I doing enough? It can be very hard to ever feel like you are doing enough. It is important, though, to remember to keep things in perspective and remember that you are the authority on your child. Here are some specific tips to help control anger in a child with autism.
- Ignore Bad Behaviour Aimed at Getting Attention: Many children with autism learn quite quickly that bad behaviour gets your attention…and gets it fast. If possible, try to ignore bad behaviour. Getting upset and giving your child a lot of attention when they misbehave can reinforce this behaviour and create a pattern that you do not want. Don’t let your child do something dangerous, but if his or her behaviour is simply annoying or he is antagonizing you, try to ignore it. Don’t give your child with autism the satisfaction of being able to pull your strings whenever he wants. While this may not eliminate the bad behaviour, reacting to negative behaviour can definitely cause bad behaviour to increase.
- Let Your Child Burn Off Energy: Children (especially those with autism) need to run around, play, burn off energy. They spend entirely too much time in front of passive activities…TV, computers, card games. Children with Autism need to run around and play. Encourage this.
- Anticipate and Avoid Problem Situations: Try to anticipate when your child might melt down. Are there situations that cause your child to get angry? Can these be avoided? Many children with autism have a tough time playing with their peers in very competitive games…such as football…where the object is to take the ball away from your child. Avoid these games if possible. Instead, encourage the boys to play a different game. Learn what triggers your child’s anger…and head these situations off before they occur.
- Hug or Gently Touch Your Child–This Can Work Wonders: By the time a child with autism has a meltdown and gets angry, words can be like pouring gasoline on a fire to put it out. Words simply do not work sometimes. Instead, if your loved one is angry, calmly stroke their back or rub their shoulders. Move the child to a quiet environment…especially one with a dark room and little noise. Remember, many times when a child with autism is angry it is because they became overwhelmed and were not able to process their emotions or handle the situation. Gentle physical contact and QUIET can work wonders in getting your child centered and calm.
This is an extract from Craig Kendall Articles, the author of The Asperger’s Syndrome Survival Guide.
